


Lucretia: Alone

by shadowkatninjawarrior



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 17:25:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14938646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkatninjawarrior/pseuds/shadowkatninjawarrior
Summary: An angsty look at a moment in time while Lucretia reflects on her past with the crew of the Starblaster and what that means for the future.





	Lucretia: Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I've been listening to the Adventure Zone for the first time, and hearing Lucretia's story in ep 66 inspired me to write this. It's pretty much just entirely angst. I've kind of tried to emulate the way Griffin talks in this, so hopefully that will come across. Enjoy!

“I made you something.” Magnus said proudly, hiding something behind his back.  
Lucretia raised an eyebrow, slightly concerned by this concept, knowing this version of Magnus as well as she did. “Oh?”  
“Tada!” He brought out a small carved wooden duck.  
Lucretia’s expression crumbled. For a moment, just for a moment, she looked utterly devastated. Then, as soon as it appeared, the expression was gone, replaced by her usual controlled one.  
“Thank you Magnus.” She said genuinely, taking her gift with something approaching reverence. Watching her with confusion, Magnus wondered at her reaction. He was, admittedly, proud of his duck, but it didn’t exactly inspire reverence. It was lopsided and rough and there was definitely at least one stained bloodspot he never quite managed to buff out.   
“Yo Magnus! Come check out this sweet trick!” Taako yelled from across the room and Magnus’ attention was pulled away, the strange encounter quickly forgotten.  
But Lucretia didn’t forget. She never does.  
She managed to keep it together for a little while longer, speaking to her employees as the party ramped up. About the time when Taako was attempting to do a flip over Merle while Angus worried loudly in the back ground, Lucretia melted into the darkness at the edge of the room and disappeared from the party. No one noticed.  
She wandered the empty corridors in something of a daze, only realising where her feet had taken her when she recognised the muted colours reflecting off the floor.  
“Fisher.” She said plaintively, placing her hand on the glass. She was so careful, ordinarily, never to call it anything other than Voidfish, scared of jogging one of their memories. A ridiculous fear really, without the inoculation they wouldn’t remember a single moment of that long century. And yet, sometimes she wondered. She looked down at her gift. The frighteningly familiar wooden duck stared innocently back at her with wooden eyes.  
“Fisher.” She called the name a little louder. “I have something for you.”  
Slowly, almost reluctantly, it turned to face her. Fisher hadn’t forgiven her, and probably never would. But that was okay. She didn’t deserve forgiveness, not for what she’d done. Fisher perked up, though, when it saw the duck. Sang a little song she hadn't heard in years. Hadn’t heard since… since…  
As she dropped the duck into Fisher’s tank, the pain in her chest grew sharper, more intense than it had been in a long time. So, she allowed herself to do something she rarely allowed herself to do. To think back. She was so very different from the mild mannered scribe on a quest to record everything she encountered. That Lucretia was long dead, had first begun disappearing during that first lonely year fixing the Starblaster. She had steel in her now, forged by grief and guilt and the weight no one should ever have to bear, the weight that she had chosen to bear alone. But she owed it to Magnus, Merle, Taako, Lup, Barry and - and Davenport, and to every single person on this planet to keep going.   
In some ways, in some small selfish part of her, she feared the day when her task would come to an end. What would they think? When they discovered what she’d done? When Taako remembered the sister he’d lost, when Davenport realised how she’d reduced him to a shell of his former self, when Barry came back from… Back from wherever he had gone. Would they even recognise her?  
Sometimes, on the bad days, these questions threatened to overwhelm her, to drown her in misery. Even on the good days she was only just staying afloat as she watched lives devastated by the power they had unleashed on the world.  
“Davenport?” A voice asked from the doorway.   
Lucretia jerked her head up and flinched. Her heart broke a little more every time she saw that blank expression.  
“Yes?”  
“Davenport.” He said again, gesturing towards the door to her office.  
Ah, so there was new information on a relic. Standing, Lucretia wiped at her eyes and set her shoulders straight. It was time to get to work.


End file.
